Kids.

Ive realised over these past few weeks that kids NEVER get listened too, their thoughts dont matter to anyone! When your younger than 16 you are treated like a little child who doesnt know what they are talking about so your opinion doesnt count but then as soon as you turn 16 and you try to express your opinion, which may be different to your mums but exactly the same as your dads, your opinion still doesnt count because your mum doesnt care and she tells you if you dont like it, move out! And your dad is too terrified of your mum to speak up!

So bloody irritating!!!

Then your mum attempts to recoil what she has said because she knows that you actually might move out because you have somewhere to go and people who love you!
GRRRRR!!

Why Should I?

I was all up for completely deleting my blog last week, I found out that people who I never wanted to find out about it know about it. This is the one thing I never wanted to happen! I know that its a blog and people are meant to follow it but I really dont want them too! I have only told the people I want too about it, the people I dont mind reading it.

But then I thought, why should I let people control my life like i always do? Why should I stop doing something I enjoy just to spare some peoples feelings?
If they find something that they dont want to hear then it is not my fault is it? I havent told them about it, this is my space where I talk about what I want, the only place that I EVER express my opinions.
So i've decided to continue as if no one knows about it, im not about to give it up!This seems to be the only place I can release my emotions! If they dont like it, they dont have too read it!
I may sound like a really horrible person for saying that but im really not in the mood to care anymore, people dont care about me so why should I care about them?!

Clothes Show Live 2010.

Whatta crazy day!
Today was the clothes show live in the NEC, Birmingham. It was pretty good too be honest, lots of shopping, models and BILLIONS of people! I was quite proud of myself actually, I took sixty quid with me and managed to come back with thirty :D
The fashion show was amazing! The theme was a night at the movies and they had dance routines and clothes from all the different genres of films, they had a non fiction one where a model came out trapped in a zorb! Also they did a high school musical themed one which was pretty funny and a rocky themed routine! Some of the clothes were beautiful but VERY expensive!
You can see how they are cutting costs in the show though, there were much fewer models and the show didnt last as long, mainly because they missed out the male underwear modelling, which everyone was looking forward too! Lol!!
Overall it was a very good day!

Sorry its such a short post, I am incredibly tired :/

Wednesday 2nd December 2009.

The day I was ill, off school and in bed was also the very first day of the best year of my life so far!
This was the day Tom asked me out, he was too impatient too wait till he saw me on the saturday lol!
I have learnt so much this year, I seem to have changed loads and i have definately done things I would never have dreamt of doing.
I have learnt:
- Not to be so náive, you cant trust everyone!
- Some people really do love and care for you, dont push them away EVER!
- I can be incredibly strong but can fall apart really easily!
- GCSE's were tough but A Levels are worse!
- Year eleven was an amazing year even if our prom and last day was shit!
- Tom's family are amazing, even if I dont get too see them very often!
- You have too grow up, even if you dont want too!
There has been good and bad in this past year but you only remember the good, right? :D

Some of the many things I have done this year are...
- Camping in the middle of January, this is where Olly Courtney-Thompson used my boots as door stops because he thought they were toms! I had to walk round the camp site in so many different pairs of borrowed shoes that weekend! Mine were soaked! lol!
- I went to Gilwell 24 which was AMAZING! I managed to stay awake for the full 24 hours, Ant and the rest of the explorers loved it so much that we plan on going again next year! :D
- I took my GCSE's and they didnt go as bad as I first thought they would!
- Tom and I took a walk to my old house in semilong, it was lovely and disgusting at the same time! :P We ended up sitting next too the river, in the park I used to play in with Billy when I was little :)
- At easter, Tom, Sam and I took the dogs for a walk, we went all the way too cottesbrooke and took the really long route home, it was a beautiful walk even if Tom did have to carry one of my dogs half way home, she has dodgy joints and struggles walking long distances!
- I bought my guinea pigs!! I never thought I would own Guinea pigs again! I love them! :D
- I got to go with Tom in his truck for the first time! It was a really fun but terrifying experience! :D
- I went to Alton Towers for my birthday! I had never done anything like that for my birthday! Dad hired a mini bus and everything! It was amazing! :D
- I had the three bests camp out in my garden on my birthday! It was great fun!
- I went too prom! It was great, we got there in a pink limo which our parents surprised us with, eventhough we were late and the photographer managed to delete the profesional photos of our group, it was amazing!
- I have started talking to my old best friend who I havent seen in over ten years, Im not sure how long were going to be talking but its nice while it lasts!
- I flew in a GLIDER!!! It was incredible! The view from in one of them is amazing, i am gutted that I couldnt get any photographs, they would have been great!
- I saw JLS in concert with rosie, sam and emily! They were amazing!
- I spent a week in wales with the most amazing people! Tom, Sam and the rest of the explorers, it was the best! It was the second time I have been to wales with the explorers and it only gets better and better! :D
- I am definately missing a couple of things off of here, cant remember everything off the top of my head :P

WOW, I havent done much then have I ;)
It has been an amazing year and I hope there are many more too come! :D

Mehhhh.

What is wrong with my life at the moment?
EVERYTHING!

I have one 'friend' who i dont particularly want to be friends with anymore, that sounds really nasty but she is horrible! (Im just going to have a proper full on rant now) she thinks she owns me, im not even joking, she can pretty much get me to do anything she want me too and she is just constantly putting me down, she will give you this look like your completely worthless, today i almost lost it with her. I dont get like that easily but it has been building for ages now and i just kinda snapped. She didnt talk to me for a while after but then about an hour later she was acting like nothing had happened, just shows how she doesnt take anything I say seriously! :@

Then now I really dont know what im doing, im scared i am about to lose the most important person in my life due to my old best friend! I know this person really doesnt like me talking to my old best friend even though he is all like 'oh yeah i dont mind' he only says he doesnt mind when i say i wanted to talk to him. I am never happy anymore and no one can make me happy :/ its very rare that im happy and to be honest im usually happiest when i have my phone no where near me, im tempted to throw it away, its just too much heartache.
The guy i love is scared im going to leave him for my old best friend, which i am not! My old best friend is all like 'oh yeah we would be great together' 'i love you' Im just getting even more confused by the whole thing, i dont love my old best friend and i never will. I think he is like this because of how close we used to be when we were little kids, we were inseperable and if i hadnt moved away i can imagine that we would actaully be together but i dont want him now! I have found someone way better, way more special, a decent guy who i am not going to give up without a fight!
I started talking to my old best friend again right after his fiance cheated on him and left him and i was apparently the only one who was nice to him, i kinda wissh i wasnt as nice because i now feel trapped and like i cant get away from him. i dont want to be horrible and just tell him to go away like everyone is telling me too but im scared he is going to ruin my relationship. I know i cant let this happen and i wont. i will not let him but i cant jusst abandon him, no one knows how much i have wanted him back since i moved away and now is my chance for my friend back, i cant just throw it away, it feels like i either get my boyfriend or my friend and i know my boyfriend will ALWAYS come first but i cant be horrible to my friend :(

Why is life never easy??! I can imagine it only gets harder! x

My future.

Ive been thinking about this a lot recently, what I want to do and where I want to go and who I want to be with so I have decided to write up a list of all the things I want to do/achieve in my life and hopefully I will be able to come back here in 50 years time and find out if I did it all :)

1. Visit Australia
2. Buy a house in Wales
3. Learn to play the guitar
4. Learn to play the piano
5. Go in a hot air balloon despite my fear of heights
6. Get really really good at photography and buy a decent camera
7. Learn more about space and the stars, it really fascinates me
8. Get a decent job, something I enjoy and that I look forward to going and doing
9. Swim with a dolphin
10. VISIT DISNEYLAND FLORIDA!!!!
11. Learn too juggle (with three balls!)
12. I would love too scuba dive but im not sure about this one because of my drowning and water fear
13. Visit Paris and the Eiffel Tower
14. Visit Vennice
15. ....... I cant think of anymore at the moment but when I do, they will be on here!

S CLUB7.

Hold on to what you try to be
Your individuality
When the world is on your shoulders
Just smile and let it go
If people try to put you down
Just walk on by dont turn around
You only have to answer to yourself

Don't you know its true what they say
That life, it ain't easy
But your time's coming around
So don't you stop tryin'

Don't stop, never give up
Hold your head high and reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you
Dream of falling in love
Anything you've been thinking of
When the world seems to get too tough
Bring it all back too you!


Very wise words from good old S Club there, it seems that they are speaking to me right now because this is exactly I need too do :)