Kids.

Ive realised over these past few weeks that kids NEVER get listened too, their thoughts dont matter to anyone! When your younger than 16 you are treated like a little child who doesnt know what they are talking about so your opinion doesnt count but then as soon as you turn 16 and you try to express your opinion, which may be different to your mums but exactly the same as your dads, your opinion still doesnt count because your mum doesnt care and she tells you if you dont like it, move out! And your dad is too terrified of your mum to speak up!

So bloody irritating!!!

Then your mum attempts to recoil what she has said because she knows that you actually might move out because you have somewhere to go and people who love you!
GRRRRR!!

Why Should I?

I was all up for completely deleting my blog last week, I found out that people who I never wanted to find out about it know about it. This is the one thing I never wanted to happen! I know that its a blog and people are meant to follow it but I really dont want them too! I have only told the people I want too about it, the people I dont mind reading it.

But then I thought, why should I let people control my life like i always do? Why should I stop doing something I enjoy just to spare some peoples feelings?
If they find something that they dont want to hear then it is not my fault is it? I havent told them about it, this is my space where I talk about what I want, the only place that I EVER express my opinions.
So i've decided to continue as if no one knows about it, im not about to give it up!This seems to be the only place I can release my emotions! If they dont like it, they dont have too read it!
I may sound like a really horrible person for saying that but im really not in the mood to care anymore, people dont care about me so why should I care about them?!

Clothes Show Live 2010.

Whatta crazy day!
Today was the clothes show live in the NEC, Birmingham. It was pretty good too be honest, lots of shopping, models and BILLIONS of people! I was quite proud of myself actually, I took sixty quid with me and managed to come back with thirty :D
The fashion show was amazing! The theme was a night at the movies and they had dance routines and clothes from all the different genres of films, they had a non fiction one where a model came out trapped in a zorb! Also they did a high school musical themed one which was pretty funny and a rocky themed routine! Some of the clothes were beautiful but VERY expensive!
You can see how they are cutting costs in the show though, there were much fewer models and the show didnt last as long, mainly because they missed out the male underwear modelling, which everyone was looking forward too! Lol!!
Overall it was a very good day!

Sorry its such a short post, I am incredibly tired :/

Wednesday 2nd December 2009.

The day I was ill, off school and in bed was also the very first day of the best year of my life so far!
This was the day Tom asked me out, he was too impatient too wait till he saw me on the saturday lol!
I have learnt so much this year, I seem to have changed loads and i have definately done things I would never have dreamt of doing.
I have learnt:
- Not to be so náive, you cant trust everyone!
- Some people really do love and care for you, dont push them away EVER!
- I can be incredibly strong but can fall apart really easily!
- GCSE's were tough but A Levels are worse!
- Year eleven was an amazing year even if our prom and last day was shit!
- Tom's family are amazing, even if I dont get too see them very often!
- You have too grow up, even if you dont want too!
There has been good and bad in this past year but you only remember the good, right? :D

Some of the many things I have done this year are...
- Camping in the middle of January, this is where Olly Courtney-Thompson used my boots as door stops because he thought they were toms! I had to walk round the camp site in so many different pairs of borrowed shoes that weekend! Mine were soaked! lol!
- I went to Gilwell 24 which was AMAZING! I managed to stay awake for the full 24 hours, Ant and the rest of the explorers loved it so much that we plan on going again next year! :D
- I took my GCSE's and they didnt go as bad as I first thought they would!
- Tom and I took a walk to my old house in semilong, it was lovely and disgusting at the same time! :P We ended up sitting next too the river, in the park I used to play in with Billy when I was little :)
- At easter, Tom, Sam and I took the dogs for a walk, we went all the way too cottesbrooke and took the really long route home, it was a beautiful walk even if Tom did have to carry one of my dogs half way home, she has dodgy joints and struggles walking long distances!
- I bought my guinea pigs!! I never thought I would own Guinea pigs again! I love them! :D
- I got to go with Tom in his truck for the first time! It was a really fun but terrifying experience! :D
- I went to Alton Towers for my birthday! I had never done anything like that for my birthday! Dad hired a mini bus and everything! It was amazing! :D
- I had the three bests camp out in my garden on my birthday! It was great fun!
- I went too prom! It was great, we got there in a pink limo which our parents surprised us with, eventhough we were late and the photographer managed to delete the profesional photos of our group, it was amazing!
- I have started talking to my old best friend who I havent seen in over ten years, Im not sure how long were going to be talking but its nice while it lasts!
- I flew in a GLIDER!!! It was incredible! The view from in one of them is amazing, i am gutted that I couldnt get any photographs, they would have been great!
- I saw JLS in concert with rosie, sam and emily! They were amazing!
- I spent a week in wales with the most amazing people! Tom, Sam and the rest of the explorers, it was the best! It was the second time I have been to wales with the explorers and it only gets better and better! :D
- I am definately missing a couple of things off of here, cant remember everything off the top of my head :P

WOW, I havent done much then have I ;)
It has been an amazing year and I hope there are many more too come! :D

Mehhhh.

What is wrong with my life at the moment?
EVERYTHING!

I have one 'friend' who i dont particularly want to be friends with anymore, that sounds really nasty but she is horrible! (Im just going to have a proper full on rant now) she thinks she owns me, im not even joking, she can pretty much get me to do anything she want me too and she is just constantly putting me down, she will give you this look like your completely worthless, today i almost lost it with her. I dont get like that easily but it has been building for ages now and i just kinda snapped. She didnt talk to me for a while after but then about an hour later she was acting like nothing had happened, just shows how she doesnt take anything I say seriously! :@

Then now I really dont know what im doing, im scared i am about to lose the most important person in my life due to my old best friend! I know this person really doesnt like me talking to my old best friend even though he is all like 'oh yeah i dont mind' he only says he doesnt mind when i say i wanted to talk to him. I am never happy anymore and no one can make me happy :/ its very rare that im happy and to be honest im usually happiest when i have my phone no where near me, im tempted to throw it away, its just too much heartache.
The guy i love is scared im going to leave him for my old best friend, which i am not! My old best friend is all like 'oh yeah we would be great together' 'i love you' Im just getting even more confused by the whole thing, i dont love my old best friend and i never will. I think he is like this because of how close we used to be when we were little kids, we were inseperable and if i hadnt moved away i can imagine that we would actaully be together but i dont want him now! I have found someone way better, way more special, a decent guy who i am not going to give up without a fight!
I started talking to my old best friend again right after his fiance cheated on him and left him and i was apparently the only one who was nice to him, i kinda wissh i wasnt as nice because i now feel trapped and like i cant get away from him. i dont want to be horrible and just tell him to go away like everyone is telling me too but im scared he is going to ruin my relationship. I know i cant let this happen and i wont. i will not let him but i cant jusst abandon him, no one knows how much i have wanted him back since i moved away and now is my chance for my friend back, i cant just throw it away, it feels like i either get my boyfriend or my friend and i know my boyfriend will ALWAYS come first but i cant be horrible to my friend :(

Why is life never easy??! I can imagine it only gets harder! x

My future.

Ive been thinking about this a lot recently, what I want to do and where I want to go and who I want to be with so I have decided to write up a list of all the things I want to do/achieve in my life and hopefully I will be able to come back here in 50 years time and find out if I did it all :)

1. Visit Australia
2. Buy a house in Wales
3. Learn to play the guitar
4. Learn to play the piano
5. Go in a hot air balloon despite my fear of heights
6. Get really really good at photography and buy a decent camera
7. Learn more about space and the stars, it really fascinates me
8. Get a decent job, something I enjoy and that I look forward to going and doing
9. Swim with a dolphin
10. VISIT DISNEYLAND FLORIDA!!!!
11. Learn too juggle (with three balls!)
12. I would love too scuba dive but im not sure about this one because of my drowning and water fear
13. Visit Paris and the Eiffel Tower
14. Visit Vennice
15. ....... I cant think of anymore at the moment but when I do, they will be on here!

S CLUB7.

Hold on to what you try to be
Your individuality
When the world is on your shoulders
Just smile and let it go
If people try to put you down
Just walk on by dont turn around
You only have to answer to yourself

Don't you know its true what they say
That life, it ain't easy
But your time's coming around
So don't you stop tryin'

Don't stop, never give up
Hold your head high and reach the top
Let the world see what you have got
Bring it all back to you
Dream of falling in love
Anything you've been thinking of
When the world seems to get too tough
Bring it all back too you!


Very wise words from good old S Club there, it seems that they are speaking to me right now because this is exactly I need too do :)

Realisation.

What a week this has been! Let me explain...
Monday/Tuesday I was over Toms house which was lovely, spent monday watching a film and doing random nothing really :P Monday evening I went to watch David swimming with Carolyn and when we got back we just sat infront of the fire talking, was lovely :) Im not going to lie, i was enjoying myself so much that I did forget about Tom for a while :P Oops! ;)
Tuesday was Elliotts Birthday and I kinda intruded his party and I felt awful about it but I dont think he minded, it was pretty funny :D
Wednesday I spent the day watching films on the TV :D We have a two month free deal on the sky movies so I am taking full advantage! :D
Thursday was my Grandmas funeral, it was a lovely ceremony :) She was 96, had lived through two world wars so she had definately had a long and good life :D
Friday I had organised to meet my old best friend who I havent seen for ten years, I was really looking forward too seeing him and was hoping our friendship would still be the same as it was before, we were incredibly close, but typically he didnt show up :( It was just my luck really, just proves that people change and their not always the friends you thought they were. I have noticed this a lot recently but I know I have at least three people who will be there for me through pretty much everything:
Tom - The amazing boyfriend who tries to listen to all the rubbish I talk and make me see sense.
Rosie - The best friend who is very straight talking and puts me in my place but that is exactly what I need, someone who shows me which direction too go.
Ollie - My new found friend who has been there for me a lot this week :)
I couldnt imagine life without them :)) x

Poem.

The magic of love

Love is like magic

And it always will be

For love still remains

Life's sweet mystery!

Love works in ways

That are wondrous and strange

And there's nothing in life

That love cannot change!

Love can transform

The most common place

Into beauty and splendor

And sweetness and grace.

Love is unselfish,

Understanding and kind,

For it sees with its heart

And not with its mind!

Love is the answer

That everyone seeks...

Love is the language,

That everyone speaks.

Love cant be bought,

It is priceless and free,

Love, like pure magic,

Is life's sweet mystery!

(Helen Steiner Rice)

I found this and I could not help but say awwwww! <3

1st, 2nd and 3rd October.

Another lovely weekend spent with Tom :) I swer he lives at my house lol.

What a funny one ;)

He arrived again friday night when I was at cubs, apparently when Tom and my dad were driving from Clipston to Welford they managed to get lost! Typical men ;) lol

Anywho, we spent saturday shopping :D I got a new phone and a new coat so it was a pretty good day for me ;) But I warn you, never take men clothes shopping!! They just stand there looking incredibly bored and saying 'thats nice', 'lovely' and 'do you want that one?' to everything you see! It was so obvious that they just wanted to get out of there lol :P

Saturday it was mine and Tom's ten month anniversary and we spent it shopping! lol :P
Ten months seems to have gone by soooo quick, its scary!!! :P

On sunday we made cakes :D:D:D:D we wanted to make them look like frogs but we never did finish icing them so they were just very green!!

It was a lovely weekend :)))

Sixth Form.

Sixth form, sixth form, sixth form. What can I say?...

Its quite strange, the freedom is nice but also terrifying. My life has always been so structured, school everyday, nine till half three with constant lessons. Now I always seem to have free time and I just feel lost. I really dont know what to do with myself. Im actually terrified about the future, when I leave school I will have nothing, yeah I will have GCSE's and A Levels but the structure will be missing. I dont like change, I never have, im not that sort of person.

Im terrified of trying to get a job, I have no idea what I want to do and how to help myself in any way. I dont think I am going to be able to go to university, partly because im terrified and dont want to go but also I really dont think we will be able to afford it.

Its just starting to get to me now that soon I will be cast out of school and have no idea of how to do anything, im really scared.

Friendship Bracelets.

Okay, so I now have an obsession. Making friendship bracelets!

I bought one when I was in Devon and I bought two for Tom, I then decided that i loved them and wanted some more but I couldnt exactly go back down to devon to buy some more :P

Sooo, I decided id research how to make them, Wikipedia was very useful and gave me a step by step guide to make them. Mum had some of the special thread in a box from when she used to do hair braids so I got some of that and started making one.

This is my first attempt...

Then i decided to try again with more colours, this is what i made and im actually quite proud of it :D

Im loving them :D Lol!x

Photography.

Not many people know this, actually, nobody knows this but I have always wanted to be a professional photographer. I dont really know why, its just something I love doing. Unfortunately im not too good at it, I cant take perfect pictures, if I get a perfect picture it is usually just luck :P

I have also been told that there is no career in photography so I will have to save this for a hobby, guess its back to thinking of what else I could possibly do when I leave sixth form :/

I thought this was quite cute, took it out of the window of a moving minibus, like I said, its all pure luck ;-)

This is the view from the bottom of the Hill in Clovelly, it was beautiful there :)

And this last one is just a picture of the bracelets I always have on my arm, I just thought it was pretty lol :P

Wales.

Well I have just got back from Wales and it was possibly one of the best weeks of my life. I got to spend the week with my amazing boyfriend and all the besties, enjoying some all new experiences.

We arrived on saturday afternoon where we just chilled, unpacked and adjusted to our surroundings. This is when the fun began, that evening we were all in the bathroom brushing our teeth when we heard a sudden shreak from Hannah, it turns out she had accidentally used savlon as toothpaste, she was running round the bathroom screaming and spitting it out everywhere whilst the rest of us were in hysterics, it was possibly the funniest things i've ever seen! Tom was laughing so much that he was crying, I had never seen him like that before :P
We decided we'd go to the beach on Sunday because we had been told the weather would be nice, which it was, we had an amazing day on the beach playing cricket and rounders, then Mia and I built "Wales the Whale" our incredible whale made out of sand. It was sad to see him trampled by the rounders game :( Mia also found a crab, admittedly it was dead, she was in love with it but it totally freaked me out :P

The next day was Monday and we were off on our hike, we got up at six in the morning and we had left the hostel by eight, we had decided to walk round the woods in Llangollen then back along the canal. It was a really nice walk although we were told we had to be quick because we needed to pick Laura up, the second group, consisting on Mia Hannah Tom Sam Henry and I, were really relaxed and enjoying the walk. Afterall why do a eight mile walk to castle ruins if you are not going to take your time and enjoy the views?

After the walk we were allowed an hour shopping in Llangollen, we all bought lunch then set off too all the hair dressers and chemists in order to find some more blue hair dye for Tom as his was fading fast :P we couldnt fins any hair dye for him but we did come across a barbers shop called "Sweeney Todds Barbers" that was a bit scary :P
Then we took the short journey home and relaxed for the rest of the day :)

On tuesday we went mountain biking which last year I really enjoyed so I was really looking forward to it this year, however on the Monday my sister fell over and twisted her knee and apparently it was still hurting her on Tuesday so she was taking the really short route. At the beginning of the week my parents had told me I had to keep an eye on her so I had to take the short route too, I was really looking forward to that day but it turned out to be a huge disappointment, especially when we only do the short route once and I am told to lie to everyone saying we did it 2/3 times, I didnt like lieing to everyone so im telling them on here. We didnt do the route more than once :( I wanted too because I hadnt been able to do the route I wanted but no one else wanted to come with me :/

However I know three people who loved that day and they didnt stop talking about it for the rest of the week, this was Mitch, Ryan and Tom. They had took the black route and absolutely loved it, they were telling Rosie and I all about it but too be honest I did get a bit confused as to what they were talking about, I didnt understand half the stuff they said but they didnt notice, they were as high as kites that evening and couldnt get te huge smiles off their faces! :P The funnist part of the day had to be Tom walking through the car park at the mountain biking centre in a sweaty, soggy tshirt and his boxers, Laura and I were walking with him but pretending we didnt have a clue who he was xD lol!

That evening our group wasnt cooking so Tom and I went into the garden, we were lying on the benches when these two little bats started flying over our heads, they were fascinating to watch and so small. Tom really wanted them too swoop down and catch one of the many moths that were flying around us but they never did :( I could have lay there all night watching them but all too soon we were called in too eat dinner :)

On Wednesday we had planned to go climbing, I really wasnt looking forward to this day because im terrified of heights but I was determined to get further than I had last year, I managed it :D I made it to the top of the the first wall when Tom was belaying me but I think this was because I trusted him and knew he wouldnt let me fall (however he did drop me later in the week :p). I didnt make it to the top of the second wall but I think this might be because I didnt feel safe at all, the guys had decided they didnt want to look after Rosie and I anymore, they wanted to look after themselves. Which then meant I had Rosie belaying me, I trust Rosie but I didnt trust her to belay me because she is definately a lot lighter than me so she could easily have dropped me. So after that I really didnt feel that safe so couldnt face doing it anymore. I would have loved to carry on because i'd told myself I would make it to the top of the highest wall but I just couldnt do it with Rosie belaying me :/ She is my best friend and everything but I just didnt trust her belaying me. Then we took the long drive home to relax again :)

It was now Thursday and we were coming to the end of the week which was quite sad, however we were going to be spending the day canoeing, I was placed in a boat with Tom who seemed to love threatening to capsize the boat when he knows my biggest fear is drowning :P

We had a pretty good day too be honest until we were told to put the boats on the shore, Tom wasnt paying attention to me telling him there were huge branches infront of me so he carried on pushing the boat onto the beachthus causing the branches to knock me backwards off the seat and onto the floor of the boat. My back was on the floor of the boat, my bum still on the seat but my legs waving in the air. Dave was in the kayak next to us and he was laughing so much when he saw me, he was laughing so much that he couldnt help me back up xD

Once we'd all finished we went back too get changed, we'd all got dressed and were heading back to the bus, Tom offered me a piggy back so I took it only to be thrown over his head and onto the floor, he will tell you that I didnt fall on my face and that he saved me, but this is NOT true, I only didnt land on my face because I saved myself lol! :P It wasnt a great day for me ;) And I have decided that Tom is never ever picking me up again! :P Im not sure how this happened but I ended up giving him a piggy back back too the bus lol! Then we took the almost two hour long journey back to the hostel where we all showered and relaxed before the stress of packing on Friday morning. Because it was the last night we all decided we would stay up together in one room, Ant told us that we could watch a DVD till midnight as long as he heard no noise from us after it. But as per usual no one wanted to listen to Ant's compromise so they were screaming and shouting all night. Tom, Mitch, Rosie and I were reminding them all of Ant's deal but they were all saying he never said that. In the end we got so annoyed we went next door into the bigger room and sat there quietly talking, it was a good night until Ant woke up and was really angry because they had been making so much noise in the room next door. In the end everyone went back to their assigned rooms and then I fell asleep to the sound of Holly's screaming, god she was annoying!

The next morning we awoke to Ant who was not in a good mood, after being woke up in the middle of the night and hardly sleeping then with the added stress of having to make sure everyone was packed and ready to leave, it was not a great morning. Our group also had too cook that morning which was a bit annoying because we were there cooking pancakes when we needed to be packing, I say cooking pancakes, it wasnt really cooking, more erm... burning ;) we made a right mess that morning but it was great fun :D

Once we were all packed we said goodbye to Laura and left, that week seemed to go so quick and I wish I could just go back. I would live in Wales if I could.

My favourite things said in Wales came from Tom and Mia! Tom when he said to me "I can read you like a book, your beautiful" I could not help but smile, a lot :)
Mia said many things that made me laugh through the week but my favourites had to be "Its getting a bit vegetational now" which she said when she was fighting her way through bracken and stinging nettles which were as tall as her shoulders :P. She then said "Wow, that was getting a bit personal" when she was making her way over a stile but her legs werent quite long enough to reach the other side lol. And there is my personal favourite "Butt rape by a bike, I didnt know it was possible" I laughed so much at this that I almost fell off my bike xD It was just so unexpected from her that it made me laugh :P

Overall, I Miss Wales! :(

Intro.

Well this should be fun :D
I was inspired to create a blog by Carolyn Mee whose blog I always enjoy reading so I thought it would be a nice way of keeping track of what I have been doing in the same way she does with her family :)
I've started this firstly as a way to entertain myself through this long summer holiday and secondly to keep track of what I have been doing throughout my life. I love the thought of being able to come back here when i'm say 40 and look at what an awesome teen I was ;) and how my views on things changed depending on what happened too me.

At the moment i'm sat in my living room watching mum doing the mountain of ironing she recieved from a client earlier today, no joke it is huge! Sam is next to me on her laptop, probably on facebook :P And dad is currently laying on the floor wiping my laptop to see whether it will come back to life so i can use it once again ;)

I go away to wales on the 31st of August for 6 days with the people I love (the explorers ;)) and i'm way too excited, last years trip was the highlight of my year so im hoping this one lives up to my expectations. This year Tom and Mitchell are coming too so I think it will be better, these two are a right pair ;) I really do love them both :D I'll give you a full description of my trip when I get back, I may even have some pictures.

Anyway, i'm gunna love ya and leave ya ;) Bye x