the one where everything you do feels completely pointless.
Im going through a bit of that right now, I just feel completely run down and like I have no energy left to put towards anything.
It feels like I have absolutely nothing to look forward to anymore, all I seem to do is school work, homework and then house work, I have no time to do any of the stuff I enjoy anymore. I love drawing and reading, but I cant find time to do either of them. I have a canvas ready for me to paint but no time to do it and a scrap book which is half complete. I just wish I could get a break from all the school work and just have a bit of time for me, I know everyone says 'make time for yourself' it just isnt that easy!
We have just had half term and it most definately hasnt felt like a break from school, it felt as though I have been doing the same amount of work that I would be doing everyday at school, its horrible! I swear half term is supposed to give people time off, so why cant they just give us a break to do what we want?!
My head is so messed up right now and I feel like im behind with everything and I just dont know how to catch up again.
I have a huge list of all the things I need to do but I just cant motivate myself to finish them, they have to be fun and creative for me to want to do them and they most definately are not, most of them are writing essays and I just cant stick to it, I know I have to and I am trying, its just hard.
I think I need a break for myself and do what I want for a little while then I will be able to get back to doing it.I just cant make time for that with all the deadlines I have :/
I just wish I could see how beneficial A levels are for me and what I can do once I have got them, we have to apply for University in a couple of months and I still dont know if I want to go, I am totally confused and it feels like my time is
running out fast, I just dont know what to do right now.
When i'm with Tom it feels like the only time I am truely happy, I dont know what I would be like without him :/
I am not coping well with life at the moment.
Monday 28 February 2011
Tuesday 1 February 2011
I went away for one weekend and...
... my parents bought a puppy! YES, a frigging puppy! Arghh!
I was away for what, three days?!
Im pretty sure they bought it when I was away so I couldnt put up a fight, they know how much I really dont want another dog but they got one anyway. Mum gets what she wants right? Even if it hurts others!
You may want to know the reason why I dont want another dog, I think its a pretty valid reason.
A couple of months ago we had 4 dogs and they were all lovely but because there were so many of them they took a very pack like instinct and were very protective of the family, and when they started getting nasty towards people and actually bit Tom Mum decided that she had to get rid of the two dominant ones, we rehomed Dougie and Izzy and were left with just the two we have now :(
Dougie was my dog and he was amazing, I really loved him to bits and it felt like the closest I had been to a dog since my colie, Jake. I used to do everything with Doug, he was my little running buddy and I miss him dearly, I didnt have that much choice in getting rid of him but it had to be done for peoples safety.
We have had just Mia and Lulu for about six months now and it is lovely, there is no longer any chewing and mess everywhere and they are even trusted to have the run of the house during the day, I know when we get this new puppy they will lose all of that and be confined to the kitchen again. It just feels to me like we have got rid of two dogs because of the pack instinct and now we are getting another dog, it is just going to go back to the way it was, it just doesnt seem fair :'(
I was away for what, three days?!
Im pretty sure they bought it when I was away so I couldnt put up a fight, they know how much I really dont want another dog but they got one anyway. Mum gets what she wants right? Even if it hurts others!
You may want to know the reason why I dont want another dog, I think its a pretty valid reason.
A couple of months ago we had 4 dogs and they were all lovely but because there were so many of them they took a very pack like instinct and were very protective of the family, and when they started getting nasty towards people and actually bit Tom Mum decided that she had to get rid of the two dominant ones, we rehomed Dougie and Izzy and were left with just the two we have now :(
Dougie was my dog and he was amazing, I really loved him to bits and it felt like the closest I had been to a dog since my colie, Jake. I used to do everything with Doug, he was my little running buddy and I miss him dearly, I didnt have that much choice in getting rid of him but it had to be done for peoples safety.
We have had just Mia and Lulu for about six months now and it is lovely, there is no longer any chewing and mess everywhere and they are even trusted to have the run of the house during the day, I know when we get this new puppy they will lose all of that and be confined to the kitchen again. It just feels to me like we have got rid of two dogs because of the pack instinct and now we are getting another dog, it is just going to go back to the way it was, it just doesnt seem fair :'(
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